“I am broken,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do next. Where to go.”
I wanted to know what to do, where to go, but I didn’t know how to start. My heart was breaking and I was on the verge of tears. I wanted to start over – needed to start over – I just needed a little bit of help. I had never lost so much so quickly and all at one time. My boyfriend had broken up with me soon after I realized he had been cheating on me for almost the entirety of our relationship and then I had been on the verge of losing my job. Several miscommunications about a conference had led me into a fit of despair.
My boss had blamed me for not preparing adequately even though he had just told me about the conference two days prior to leaving. Now I was trying to rebuild his trust as well as my own confidence. I knew I was good at my job and I knew that I deserved as much love and respect as anyone.
I looked out the window and into the clearing of wildflowers. All I needed was a sign. A sign that I was doing the right thing – that I was going in the right direction. I closed my eyes and prayed. I had never been one for much praying, but this was where I was.
When I opened my eyes, I smiled. The field was full of butterflies.