Broken

“I am broken,” I whispered.  “I don’t know what to do next.  Where to go.” 

I wanted to know what to do, where to go, but I didn’t know how to start.  My heart was breaking and I was on the verge of tears.  I wanted to start over – needed to start over – I just needed a little bit of help.  I had never lost so much so quickly and all at one time.  My boyfriend had broken up with me soon after I realized he had been cheating on me for almost the entirety of our relationship and then I had been on the verge of losing my job.  Several miscommunications about a conference had led me into a fit of despair. 

My boss had blamed me for not preparing adequately even though he had just told me about the conference two days prior to leaving.  Now I was trying to rebuild his trust as well as  my own confidence. I knew I was good at my job and I knew that I deserved as much love and respect as anyone. 

I looked out the window and into the clearing of wildflowers.  All I needed was a sign.  A sign that I was doing the right thing – that I was going in the right direction.  I closed my eyes and prayed.  I had never been one for much praying, but this was where I was. 

When I opened my eyes, I smiled.  The field was full of butterflies.