Evaluate

“I should have thought about this before I came. If I had thought about it, I knew the night would take this turn,” I whispered to myself as I watched the party spiral out of control. Part of me was horrified while the other part of me was mesmerized by how everyone was acting. I was beginning to wonder about most of the people who I spent my time with. I had spent so much time with Mark, Tracy and Scott in the last several months and was now wondering why. I always wondered if alcohol changed how people behaved and now I was sure it did. My parents never drank and pounded into me that alcohol was akin to poison. 

I never drank growing up because I thought I would go straight to hell, but tried almost everything when I got out of the house, out of town and to college. I tried beer, wine, liquor, mixed drinks. Everything. And I had yet to find a drink I enjoyed. I also didn’t like losing control. I wanted to be in charge of everything I did and every choice I made. As I watched Mark, Tracy and Scott ‘have fun,’ I was wondering I was even at the party. They were stumbling, slurring their words, asking the same questions. When I finally got the nerve to leave the party on my own, I felt the cool night air on my skin. I took a deep breath of fresh air and started the short walk back to my dorm, I wondered what I was going to do for the rest of the night. It was still early, but I was late to the game of making new plans. But as I saw the game of baseball being played under the lights, I knew where I was going. And who I was going to meet. I had never been so excited to relive my childhood again.