I watched the deer cross the road and wondered if they would mind if I followed them home. I was tired of my life and tired of working away the best years of it. I wanted out and maybe this was my chance. Abandon this piece of shit Corolla I have and just walk away. No one would really look for me that closely. My family was still in New York and rarely called. Especially after what happened at Christmas last year. Christmas had sealed the deal with my family and was the reason I finally found the courage to move away. If my father hadn’t had so much wine after dinner, I would not have found out what everyone was hiding from me. Hiding the fact I was kidnapped as a child and no one thought to let me know I wasn’t technically part of the family. That they thought I would be better off with them than with my biological mother and father. The more they talked, the more they shut their mouths. My mother never wanted me to know what they had done. My father apparently never wanted me.
The day after Christmas, I packed my belongings and moved to Cleveland. I had blindly pointed at a map, packed my car and left. Since arriving in Cleveland, I have found it easy to lose myself in the crowds. I found myself wandering aimlessly on my days off and hadn’t made any close friends since arriving six months ago. I knew New York City was not the place for me because there was too much hustle and bustle. There was too much noise. I loved the fact there was such diversity and so many things to do in big cities, but they were exhausting. Even my ears were tired. But the capacity to get into nature was easier here and quickly became more natural as the days passed. The day the deer crossed in front of me led me into my current stage of life that I don’t know if I can pull myself out of. I never knew what horror was until I went into the cave.
Standing Room Only 