Standing Room Only

A World of Short Stories

Funny

I only ever met one man I’d actually say was funny. And I was obsessed. Having grown up in a home where laughing and jokes were not heard often, I wanted to surround myself with those who laughed and joked. Anthony was, at this point, my only hope. I met him when I was in seventh grade and somewhat of a loner. I had never been allowed to have or attend slumber parties or even birthday parties mainly because my parents were very religious and didn’t believe in celebrations. I was often told I should be thankful to be alive.  

Anthony moved to town just before Thanksgiving that year and talked often and loudly about all the traditions he and his family had around the holidays. The only tradition my family seemed to have was for me to be seen and not heard. And church of course. Luckily, my parents had allowed me to start a paper route, but only with the promise I would donate most of my money to the church. What they didn’t know and what I would never tell them was the fact I didn’t tell them how much money I made each month. I knew I had to be able to buy a car so I could get out and experience something new as soon as I turned sixteen. 

And I knew Anthony was going to be the one to help me. The second week he was in school, I garnered up the courage to talk to him during our lunch break. I had been practicing what I was going to say and what jokes I could potentially tell, all in hopes he wouldn’t find me to be a huge nerd. The first time he laughed, I knew he had to be mine. No matter what. But when Jessica tried to step in, I knew how to cut her out of his life forever. It would be as easy as praying. Which for me, was as easy as lying. And stealing. And cheating. 



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