As the feather drifted toward me, I wondered if I had done the right thing and not for the first time. I had auditioned for the school play on a whim and was surprised I had gotten a part. In reality, I was not interested in acting, but more interested in Ryan. He had been the apple of my eye since fifth grade and I thought the school play would be the prime time to get him to notice me. Being a senior, this was my last chance at love. There had been boyfriends here and there, but none of them lived up to my dreams of Ryan.
But the feather. It was always the feather. I never knew something so delicate could be so dangerous. So infuriating. So… I didn’t know what to call it other than I knew Ryan would never be mine. But at least now I knew for sure. He was a tyrant, a monster, a bully and I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen it before. He kept himself under the line of sight of the teachers by heaping on huge amounts of flattery so they would overlook his deceit and treachery.
While the feather drifted, I heard the bubble of laughter from the audience. I knew all too well what they were laughing at and I didn’t know how to recover. How to move on. While Ryan stared at horror in his ruined costume, I ran off the stage and toward the exit. By the looks on the faces of the audience, I knew they thought this was all part of the show, that it was a planned interruption. So far, only Ryan and I knew this was not part of the play. It was an act of defiance planned by me so Ryan could be completely and utterly embarrassed in what he thought would be his shining moment. It was his last-ditch effort to bring his acting skills up to par and I had ruined it on purpose. He would have to live with the consequences of his actions just like I would mine. If he wouldn’t acknowledge the fact the baby growing inside me was his, he would not get his shining moment on stage.