I always wondered what kind of a friend I was. Was I the confidant? The rebel? The scapegoat? I wandered from group to group during middle and high school just to see what would happen. Who would accept me? Where could I be my odd self and not worry about what was being said when everyone went home? I thought I had finally found my click, my group, my people when I ate lunch with Hannah and her friends. I thought things had been going well after eating lunch with Hannah, Macey, Julie and Andy for a few weeks when I realized I had almost never been happier. I was finally a part of inside jokes. I was finally invited to sleepovers. Slumber parties. Birthday parties.
I had been invited to birthday parties and sleepovers before, but I had somehow never been invited to be a part of inside jokes. Most of the time I had a sneaking suspicion the inside jokes were about me. But I was longing for things with the ‘Troop’ to go well. I was desperate for it. I needed a solid backing for when I put my plan into motion. If I didn’t have any support, I knew I would fail. I needed to get out of town and get out of town quickly as soon as the time came. And that day was fast approaching. August 1 was the day I needed to be out of my house and out of town. And I knew the ‘Troop’ would back me up and tell the police I wasn’t any trouble. That I never once caused any trouble at school. Because I knew what my parents would do when I disappeared and went to college. And I knew they were lying.