Standing Room Only

The days passed slowly and calmly as I tried to will myself back into entering society.  But as the days passed, I found myself enjoying my own company, more than I had before.  I hadn’t realized how much time and energy I had spent worrying about others instead of myself.  Gone were the days where I would spend all day working with people who didn’t care and didn’t know what was going on. Gone were the days where I would spend all my energy focusing on solving everyone else’s problems. 

I needed to focus on myself and focus on my own well-being. At first, I got a few angry text messages about when I wasn’t coming around as often. Why I wasn’t helping as often. Why I was saying no to events and volunteer opportunities where I had previously jumped at the chance to get involved. Some understood when I told them I wanted to start limiting how much of myself I was offering to the world. They understood when I explained how I wanted to take a step back. They understood when I explained about my burnout. 

Others didn’t.  It came down to the fact I wasn’t going to babysit for free every weekend. I wasn’t going to cook meals for everyone on a regular basis. Kerri treated me horribly and after a time, I realized she had been the worst about taking advantage of me. I wish I knew how to break up with my sister.