Blaze of Glory

“If this is my last day, I want to go out in a blaze of glory.  I want to be remembered.” 

I listened to my brother through our thin apartment wall and wondered what he was thinking about.  Why would he be wanting or needing to go out in a blaze of glory?  I struggled to stay awake to see if he would continue his monologue.  Did it mean he was going to hurt himself?  Would he finally ask Miranda out on a date?  I had never heard Sam talk about hurting himself in all the years of our small apartment life.  Most of the time I was annoyed about what he said in his room, but tonight, I was nervous. 

I struggled to sit up so I could listen to the rest of his monologue.  Part of me didn’t want to listen because he didn’t know I was listening and overhearing his thoughts.  He never talked much after our older brother left home so I always tried to listen when he did talk.  Our mom worked too much and even though she was missing our events, she was keeping food on the table and was present whenever she was home. 

The longer I listened to Sam’s monologue, the more worried I got.  I got up and out of bed when he sounded like he was starting to wind down.  When I got the nerve to bust into his room, I found him dressed in a costume, reading a script. 


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