Spinning

“He wouldn’t look back at you.  I think that means something.  What happened between the two of you?  You used to be so close.”  Chad watched James walk away and I began to wonder the same thing.  I wasn’t entirely sure what had happened between James and I, but here we were.  He was walking away and I was left with no real explanation. 

“I’m not really sure what happened,” I said softly as James got into his car and drove away.  I knew chasing him would do nothing.  When he made up his mind, it was done with no going back.  His decision making was firm and decisive.  And it looked like he made the final decision on our relationship. 

“Do you want me to stick around for a while?  Just to make sure he won’t come back?”  Chad asked  

I slowly turned back toward my house with my head spinning.  I knew we were done, I just didn’t know why or how.  I felt like slamming the front door shut when I finally made it home to my tiny cottage, but found I didn’t have the energy.  The events of the evening were making my head spin and before I made it to the porch, I found myself sinking to my knees.  I didn’t know how I could support myself with James gone.  I had never told him about the money I was ‘borrowing’ or the food I was stealing when I would visit him at work.