Mama Bear

“I went into Mama Bear mode,” I wrote in my letter.  “I just couldn’t help myself.”  

When I heard the floor creaking in the hallway, I quickly folded up my letter and tucked it into my purse.  If my husband saw a crumpled piece of paper, I knew he would start asking questions.  I always thought I was nosy, but then I got married and found out what it was like to be nosy.  I now knew what it was like to know someone who actually nosy and wouldn’t give up until all the information was exposed. 

How he kept his secrets from me while we were dating and engaged, I’m not sure, but as our marriage unfolded, he let his guard down.  He started leaving his office door open and his day planner out on his desk.  I’m still not positive he didn’t do these things on purpose so I made sure not mention anything I learned. 

The longer we were married, the more suspicious I became of everything.  When I found out I was pregnant, I almost lost my mind.  I felt like my maternal instincts heightened and I became extra vigilant about Mark’s behavior.  I knew I needed to get out of the house and on my own.  I know my life and my child’s life depended on us leaving.  The more I snooped, the more I understood.  And the more terrifying my husband became.  How had I been so fooled by such a monster? 


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