“I am incapable of feeling,” I told my teacher. “I can’t do it even though I have tried. I’m not even sure what to do anymore.”
When Mr. Stewart didn’t respond, I stood to pick up my backpack and headed toward the door. I knew I shouldn’t have told Mr. Stewart what was going on. He wouldn’t help me just like all the other adults in my life.
“Colby. Wait. That was a great start. Please come back and sit down. Please tell me what is going on.” Mr. Stewart waved me back to the chair across from his desk. I stared at him unsure if he was being serious or not. He had always told me to come to him if I ever needed anything. Now I wasn’t so sure. Would he tell my parents what I had said? Would he tell the principal?
“I need to move out of my parents’ house and don’t know how to tell you that I don’t care about them and didn’t have any feelings for him one way or the other. How could I not care? They are my parents.” As the words tumbled out of my mouth, I sat back down and cried. I let everything out and when I finally stopped, all Mr. Stewart did was smile. I didn’t know what else he could say that would have any effect on my way out of the school. I was going, I just needed someone to know that I was.