“The sun is bringing my life back,” I whispered to myself. “This is exactly where I need to be.”
I stared at the clear blue sky and smiled. I knew there was something off every day while I was visiting my friends, but I could never exactly put my finger on it. I now knew what it was. We had spent a significant amount of time inside the house.
Now that I was back home in Wyoming, I wondered why I hadn’t realized while I was in Texas what was bothering me so much. I tried to wonder if it was the fact that Texas was significantly hotter than Wyoming and that’s why we had spent so much time indoors. Everything I liked to do: hiking, trail running, camping, were significantly easier when it wasn’t always one hundred degrees.
Being outside was significantly easier when you had friends who were interested in taking care and moving their bodies instead of sitting and numbing their brains. I tried to remember why I had ever started hanging around them in the first place and all I could think of was the fact they were friends of convenience. They were there when I physically needed a friend, but emotionally, they were not available. When I tried to broach my problems and talk about my anxiety, they continued to stare at the television.
I knew I would never go back. Even when they tried to tempt me with the sins of my past.