Standing Room Only

I had longed for a room of my own since my sister was born.  Now that I had my own room, I wasn’t sure I wanted it.  A room to myself was quiet and lonely and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.  Amelia and I had been sharing a room since she was able to sleep in a twin sized bed without rolling out.  Our parents never forced us into getting bunkbeds though there were times I debated asking for them.  I knew we couldn’t afford the bedding I really wanted to get, but bunk beds could potentially get me a little more room and away from my sister. 

All I wanted was a little space to myself and now that I had it, I missed my sister crawling into my bed after she had a nightmare.  I missed accidently stepping on her toys in the middle of the night when I was trying to sneak out.  Luckily both she and my parents were sound sleepers so I was able to sneak out on multiple occasions without being caught.  My sneaking out eventually ended everything I wanted in my life.  I feel like there is no one to blame but myself and no one can or will confirm or deny that for me.  The last time I snuck out happened to be the night our house caught on fire.  All I ever wanted vanished in one night and I think it is probably all my fault.