“I am not suffering for company,” I said to Evelyn. I really had to control the level of my voice so she wouldn’t realize how irritated I was. Though I didn’t think I was doing a very good job. My voice might be somewhat composed, I knew my face wasn’t. I had never been able to control my facial expressions. It was one of my least favorite qualities about myself.
Evelyn always wanted me to go out more. She didn’t like my boyfriend even though she didn’t exactly know we were dating. She had just assumed he was a friend and then told me later how “uncool” she thought he was.
I just wish I could tell her how I really felt and what I really knew about her. I knew she was putting up a huge front so she could hang out with the popular crowd. I knew the pressure my parents put on her for being the older sister. My mom never had many friends and my dad never cared. Evelyn cried herself to sleep most nights and threw up after most meals. I knew I should talk to her about it, but I’m not convinced she wouldn’t like to me about it.
I knew I should help my sister, but I don’t know she would help me. I knew in order to really help, I would need to become popular. I knew exactly what to do. I only needed to start with a few well-placed lies.