I had never believed in horoscopes. Probably because my mother heartily believed in horoscopes and never missed a chance to read tarot cards. She claims to have grown up in a commune, but all the information I have found says she lived in Austin, Texas and grew up in the Austin public school system. I think she wants to be seen as an original hippie and living in a commune would definitely give her the ‘street cred’ she so desperately craves. She even likes the throw the term ‘street cred’ into conversations like it’s normal.
Last week I turned fifteen and decided to buy my first round of lipstick and mascara. My mom had always told me makeup was unnecessary and I was wasting my money as well as clear skin. Since all the other girls at school wore some sort of makeup, I was determined to as well. My plan was to only wear makeup at school and outings and wash it off before I got home.
My plan worked fairly well for the first few months. Until I went to a party and had one beer. Because I had never had any alcohol before, that one beer was enough to make me forget to take my makeup off. My mom flew into a rage the minute I walked in the front door. Before that night, she had never hit me. Now, I am lighter by one tooth and one mother. And I still haven’t been caught.