My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I’m trying to find a way I can be out of the house for a significant part of the week she is here.  We have never liked each other, never gotten along and the idea of her spending a week in our house is horrifying.  My wife encourages me to get along with her, but does know I have tried and failed miserably.  I hate drinking alone, but that might change this week. 

I put on my best front when Alice arrived.  By the end of the day, my face was starting to hurt from so much forced smiling.  The only thing nice about Alice coming to visit was the fact she is a fantastic cook.  My wife relies mainly on grilled chicken, salads and Chinese takeout. 

I became suspicious of her (more than I usually was) on the third day she was here.  She would not let anyone else plate the food or bring the food to the table.  She also made a big deal of making me a ‘special’ plate every time we sat down.  When my stomach started cramping the first time, I had my suspicions about her cooking.  The second time, I knew something was going on.  When I told my wife my suspicions about her mother cooking with poison she exploded saying there was no way her mother would be trying to kill me.  She didn’t know what I knew about what really happened to her father. 


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