I’ve never been a very decisive person. Ever. I can’t make up my mind what my favorite food is, where I want to eat when I go out and especially on what I’m going to do when I go on vacation. I tell my friends I don’t really care what we do and that I am happy with everything, but I’m scared of making decisions. What if it’s the wrong one? What if it makes somebody upset? What if someone got mad at me? I wouldn’t know how to handle the fact somebody might be mad at me over what I suggested we eat for dinner.
One friend has recently been asking me to make a decision and she would stop trying to make plans together because I was backing out so much. But if my mom calls and tells me I need to take groceries to my grandparents, that is obviously the important thing to do. I can get together for a drink any old time, but how often will my grandparents need food? My friends will understand I am doing this for my family when I call to reschedule. If I call at all. If I’m not home, obviously something important has come up. She’ll understand. Family is important.
But I found the more often I broke plans, the less frequent my friends called. But I still don’t quite understand. Why is it so wrong to be helpful and accommodating? Even at the expense of my social life?