Survival

I knew middle school would be survival of the fittest, but I didn’t know until I was in eighth grade.  Didn’t realize my ‘friends’ weren’t really my friends until that year.  Didn’t realize those who I thought cared about me didn’t really care at all.  The more time I spent alone in the presence of others, the more time I had to daydream. 

The more time I spent daydreaming, the more I could see what my future would hold without them.  I could envision a future where I could and would pay attention to my interests, wants and needs instead of focusing on what they wanted.  No one even noticed when I stopped adding to the conversations.  Didn’t even realize they never asked for and didn’t listen to my opinions. 

The more I became aware of my own mind and self, I started to meticulously plan my escape.  Escape from this life that no longer suited me.  The more I started noticing others.  The girl next to me who was an amazing artist.  The guy next to me in algebra who wrote his own comics after he finished the assignment.  What I wasn’t mindful of was when I finally escaped, how my ‘friends’ would shun me for not pampering them.