Sitting Heavy

I had never felt so sad, so heavy, until the day I received my first rejection letter.  I had wanted to go to college and get out of town since middle school.  I had a good life, but things could be better.  Friends could be better.  My friends had been great in elementary school, but there had been a slight shift over the summer between fifth and sixth grade. 

I didn’t notice at first, but the first time I saw them having fun without me, I knew I had been ditched.  What they didn’t realize was I knew all of their secrets.  All of their worst deeds.  The thing about staying silent was that most people forgot I was there.  Forgot to censor themselves.  I knew everything they didn’t want their parents to know. 

I was feeling the same way now as I did then.  I had written my first book and put everything I had into it.  Only for it to be rejected by every single publishing company I sent it to.  I knew what I had to do, but just needed to pull myself up by my bootstraps.  As I read the latest rejection letter one last time, I saw the name of who was in charge of rejecting new authors.  It was Summer.  The leader of that ‘gang’ of friends.  I knew it was finally time for payback.