Accessories

I had always been obsessed with accessories.  I wore bracelets.  I wore barrettes.  I wore earrings.  My parents were always trying to get me to tone it down, but after a while, they quietly gave up.  There was no use.  Maybe I used accessories to distract everyone from what was really bothering me, but I wouldn’t acknowledge what I really wanted to hide. 

Because I knew if I accepted my reality, nothing would change anyway.  My cousin loved that I loved to accessorize solely because the fact she could usually make fun of me in front of her friends.  Meredith was relentless, but if you knew my aunt and uncle, her attitude made sense.  Her parents never paid attention to her and when they did, they were usually putting her down. 

I tried to remind myself to forgive her.  To remind myself of what her home life was like, but I couldn’t quite pull myself together.  My cousin – my own flesh and blood – made my life a living hell just to hide her own insecurities.  She believed I was too trusting and too naïve to tell her secrets.  Too afraid of the consequences.  Because if Meredith kept everyone’s focus on me, they wouldn’t focus on her.  She was the one who had buried everything in the forest so her mistakes wouldn’t turn on her.