Zen

I loved racing from an early age. Racing cars, running races, racing matchbook cars, racing anything. I loved to go fast, no matter where I was going or who was waiting. Part of the problem was my slow pace of life at home. My parents were very much into ‘the zen life’ and I still hadn’t quite figured out what that lifestyle meant to me. I wanted to slow down, think, and meditate, but I didn’t know how. 

 Every part of my parents’ lifestyle revolved around their slow moving, intentional life. While I felt like my life was intentional, I wanted to be intentional and fast. I had too many plans, too many ideas to not be busy every second of every day. How could I live my life well if I had to plan out every second of every day? As my days whizzed past in a blur of business, I wondered about the ideas of slowing down. I loved schedules, timetables, and usually tried to schedule my day down to the last detail and wasn’t sure I could leave my schedule open for what my parents called ‘life.’ 

Wasn’t life meant to be spontaneous? Wasn’t life meant to just happen? How long could I go on living life exactly how I wanted?  The day my life changed into a ‘zen life’ like my parents wanted was the day I let go and let everything fall into place.